With All The Hopes
by Kachie-Chan
Summary: One of Hazel's more frightening nightmares.


**W**heat fields. Long ol' wheat fields that went on forever. I stood in one, that was up to my waist and stared out with big blue eyes to the endless wheat. I was six again. My lil' body was no more a god warrior than a baby chicken, but I wanted to so badly be the person I am today. I looked up at that cobalt sky in awe - begging my legs to get long so I could reach out and touch it for myself.

The wind was rolling through the stocks, crashing into me like a great wave. My hair was whipping every which way, twisting and bouncing along with the breeze.

I just stood there, waiting to get all tall like I used to do. Prayin' to god every second with my mind, asking to be great like my master - or at least to see Ma and Pa again. They never came back for me, but soon I didn't care bout' them at all. When I was six though, I was real sore about them leavin' me. I was ignorant to it then, but I thought cryin' was only for weaklings, so I kept it all inside - I told Master 'it doesn't bother me' but he always knew better. He'd sit me on his knee and read me scripture, telling' me God would never leave my side even if I strayed from him.

I always felt good knowin' God was there when Pa wasn't. Even if I was all upset then, what Master said always touched me. It wasn't till I was 13 and all power hungry did I stop listenin' to Master's wisdom.

But six… I had it all good. I remember runnin' through these wheat fields all by myself. That was the first year school started, but I didn't know no body. I ran and ran for hours an' hours, giggling like crazy till Master called me in for dinner… Out there runnin' It was like I was free from all the pain and sorrow - not even God was there. It was just me and that wheat.

I took a few steps forward, adjusting my overall's. I kept on walkin till I found an autumn tree, it's leaves all yellow and red. I squinted, and I could see Master with his ol' leather bound bible and his reading glasses, stretched out and looking straight at me.

It was then that my chest got tight. My eyes shrunk and my legs just started movin'. I didn't even tell them to. I ran as fast as I could towards him, but my legs were weighed down by something. I couldn't move fast enough. Soon, even though I didn't feel tired - my legs started goin' slower and slower like I was. Soon, was reduced my knees, reaching forward.

I called his name 'Sir! SIR!' until my throat ran dry. It was like some pressure was holdin' it closed, like a demon's hand was choking me.

I sputtered and coughed. When I looked down, I saw that blood had splattered itself on the wheat. I looked up in horror to see the sky had completely been wiped with the dead of the night. Twinkling stars with a giant, full harvest moon. It was all dark now, but through the darkness - Master's eyes watched me as I sputtered all my innards out in front of me.

I could feel it comin' up, like vomit. My intestines snaked up my throat - I could _feel_ that. I lurched forward, my stomach throbbing and jumpin' around.

It was a bloody mess of chunks at my feet, all from my own body. It smelt like rotten flesh, with flies that swarmed all over it. My overalls were stained on the front with a yellowish-crimson bile.

Yet, I didn't feel like I was dyin. I had just coughed up all my innards with blood dripping from my mouth, but I didn't feel dead or even hurt.

When I lifted my head up, Master was gone - but his book was nailed to the tree, along with his cracked glasses.

I felt the blood in the back of my throat and spat the rest of my bloody vomit out.

Then, I stirred awake. I was leaning forward in bed - my mouth was drippin' with drool. Gat was holding my shoulders, shaking them until he saw my eyes were open. I stared up at him with horror. When I realized what I had was a dream, I glared and lifting my arm up, pushing him away.

He withdraw, staring at him with those yellow eyes of his. Same color as my bile. I reached up my hand and wiped the fluid from my mouth, finding my hand was surprisingly slick with my own sweat.

"Are you okay, Hazel?"

"I-I'm fine. It was just a silly ol' nightmare."

"You were dry heaving."

"…What?"

"Coughing like you were vomiting. Dry heaving."

"I _know_ what that means, _Gat_. I just didn't believe it… I guess I musta got some sorta bug. My stomach feels plum awful."

"You look pretty bad. Maybe you should sleep in."

"Oh Gat, I appreciate the concern but I reckon I'd be behind if I did that. Early risers reap the rewards, that's what they always say!"

"…I've never heard anyone say that before."

"Maybe not quite in those words but…"

I pushed my legs out of bed, swinging them over the edge and touching them to the cold wood floor. I quickly pushed myself and took a step, only to find myself feeling extremely lethargic and dizzy. I crumpled to my knees, sweating profusely. My clothes were damp from my sweat, and I could feel my face burnin' with a fever. Perhaps being a day behind Sanzo wouldn't be so terrible…

Gat was behind me in a flash, helping me up and setting me back on the side of the bed. I held my head in my sweaty palm, rubbing my temples.

"I'll go get you a wash cloth and some aspirin."

"Thank ya, Gat. Perhaps in times like these I am especially grateful for ya'll's help."

I smiled and he ignored me, like usual. Turning away, I didn't know really what his problem was. I was tryin' to be nice…

I heard him fussin in the bathroom, and when I finally looked up, I saw the sun was rising above the buildings. Maybe my internal clock was just bein' punctual.

"You know Hazel…tomorrow is Christmas Eve. Have you given any thought to Miss Rhian's question?"

"…Ah… that's right. I don't want nothin' from her but her company. Think she'll bite?"

"Perhaps if you make a good argument."

"In this condition? I doubt she'll be able to refuse my offer, don'tcha think?"

"I… am inclined to agree."

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**  
_Haven't submitted anything in a while. Sorry all of you who read Moon Flower and want me to continue... though I don't think there are many of you, lol._**

_**This is just a sort scenery study with Hazel. I don't want any 'Hazel's a bastard' or 'Hazel's MINE!' comments. I also have only read to Reload 9 (What the series is up to in English) so please do not spoil me, either. **_

_**Anyways, please enjoy. And if you are wondering who Rhian is, read MoonFlower. This is set in a different continuim than Moon Flower as well, so don't pay too much to her name drop. :)**_


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